Konan's Shopping Day
by thefirstespada
Summary: Konan wants to go shopping but Pein doesnt. So he suggest taking the Akasuki and so she does. Itachi, Kakuzu, Sasori, Deidara, and Tobi. What kind of insanity will they get into. Rated M for adult situations


**I do not own anything **

**Konan's Shopping Day**

"This world will feel my pain, my pain will devour their souls and their flesh, and I will become god in a pain filled world. I will make my pain absolute and I-," a scream interrupted Pein's little monologue.

"Hey Pein, Pein, Pein!"

"Konan, I am in the middle of a monologue here, a very cool monologue." Konan crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, "You're always monologue-ing you don't even pay attention to me anymore."

Pein hated when she got like this, completely out of character, but what could he do she had him whipped.

"Okay, okay what do you want to do?"

"Well first I'd like to go to the hair salon and get my hair done and then to the nail salon get my nails done. And then we can go and buy me some new clothes, new shoes, new jewelry. Get some new make-up and finally once I'm the most beautiful that I can be we'll go out on a date."

Pein's eyes were widened and his mouth hung, "great she's got me acting out of character."

Konan awaited an answer from Pein only to receive stutters and mumbles. But then Pein began giving her clear words, "how about this, since I'm monologue-ing I'll have the Akatsuki escort you to these places?"

"The Akatsuki? I don't think that's such a good idea." Pein wrapped one arm around her, "nonsense, they are normal…in their own special kind of way."

Pein pushed Konan out the door and went back to his monologues. "Pain shall consume the world and its masses until there is not a soul left alive that does not feel my pain."

**Itachi**

'Let see I can choose between a Terrorist, Pinocchio, Jaws, Jashin's bitch, Mr. Krabs, Audrey 2, Lollipop, and Itachi. I guess Itachi is the most normal one, I'll get him to go."

She found Itachi sitting on a couch trying his hardest to read a book entitled, 'blindness for dummies.'

Konan approached and sat down next to him, she looked at the page he was trying to read, and it read "if you can't read this you're blind…dummy."

It was then that Itachi put the book down and began rubbing his eyes. "My visions getting worse everyday, I need to see an optometrist."

Konan patting Itachi's back and tried to comfort him and then got down to business. "Um Itachi, Pein's being a big meanie and he won't take me shopping so I was thinking could you come with me?"

The second Konan said shopping other Akatsuki members came storming into the room. Kakuzu took a seat next to Konan.

"Shopping, how are you paying for that?" Konan reached into her purse, "with this."

It was the Akatsuki credit card, a black card with a red cloud on it. "Like hell you will, I will not tarnish our perfect credit with your over spending female ways, I'm going with you."

Itachi looked at the wall, "she wants me to go you ignoramus."

Kakuzu pushed Konan out of the way and stared at Itachi eye to ear (Itachi's looking at the wall). "What di you say punk?"

Konan pushed Kakuzu back, "boys, boys there's no need to fight over little ole me, is there?" Konan twirled her hair and smiled cutely.

Kakuzu cleared his throat and let's just say that mask comes in handy. Itachi didn't know what was going on, but her voice sounded sweet.

"Did someone say shopping?" Deidara entered the room looking as flamboyant and androgynous as ever. "I love shopping count me in girlfriend."

"Okay so Itachi, Kakuzu, and Deidara are going with me, is there anyone else who wants to join in."

"Do we get to see your boobs?"

"No Hidan you don't get to see my boobs."

"Fuck you then, stupid Pein whore."

"I love you to Hidan."

The group was ready to leave until they were approached by another pair that wanted to go.

"Sasori and Tobi? Why do you want to go?"

Sasori shrugged, "I'm in it for the lulz."

Tobi cheered "and Tobi will be a comic relief, Yay. I'll also destroy you all and feast on your souls… I mean Tobi is a good boy."

Konan clapped her hands, "okay then let's go."

**End of First Chapter**

**Review if you want Continuation**

**I just wrote this for the Lulz**


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